Thoughts, Feels, Realization

My thoughts run away today as I find it difficult to control this malady inside my head.
Feelings of loneliness in a room full of people I call friends.
Trying not to let it get to me, living my life as if there is no tomorrow.
A smile, and laugh, a joke at times, just to keep myself animated.

We are beings of compassion, love, and especially passion.
I just want to be whole, just as the creator has designed us to be.
Masking my feelings, squelch my desires, and burying my passions… for what?
Seems I have set aside views of togetherness simply for the sake of emotional state.
The days of youthful thoughts and wishes have all be scared by life’s trials.

Many have come into my life. We have shared joys and sorrows.
Very few though have shared my true love and passion.
Fragile and delicate, this is the part of my being protected so strongly.

Recently I have looked into the eyes of one, and I see promise.
A smile that captivates me, a presence that surrounds me.
My heart says go with it, but my thoughts apply a level of pressure…

But why I ask myself, can this really be?
Are my thoughts just running wild with impossibilities?
…Anxiety begins to set in as my mind runs continues down this path of seeming-less obstacles.

Finally a light shines at the end of the road, much like the sun peeking through the clouds on the beach.
A voice tells me, “Experience is fuel for life. If you don’t try you will not learn the outcome. We learn from our experiences, good and bad. Don’t let the bad overcome your need to grow. The only true failure is when you choose not to try.”

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